Tuesday, June 29, 2010


-When I was at church Sunday listening to my pastor talk about carrying one another’s burdens and love, I realized that is what I was trying to express in a lot of the ways I listed feeling blessed. So many people are walking with me, and carrying my burden with me, and loving me so well, that it makes this journey much less desolate.

-Along the burden bearing line, people can’t help me bear my burden unless they know I have one. Sharing my burden with others costs me because I have to be vulnerable and sometimes it’s exhausting to explain everything to people, but if I don’t share it they can’t help me...

-I stopped carrying the burdens of my spider. We broke up on Saturday. My spider was a nice little spider that lived in my shower. It started out living in the upper window frame, which was perfect because it took care of the little insects. Then, it started making its webs in the bathtub. Obviously this caused me distress because I didn’t want to drown one of God’s creatures, and especially one who had been so helpful, and especially since the process of death by drowning is so awful to contemplate. After numerous fiascos trying to move the spider from the bathtub to the upper window frame while it was spinning threads at a million miles an hour and dropping as fast as it could back down into the tub, the last straw snapped Saturday. After one of these fiascos, I couldn’t find my little spider and got really upset that I might have drowned it (the water was running...). Then, to my great relief, I saw it on the window covering. So I took it outside. Hopefully it’ll be happier out there. I can’t handle spider drama right now.

-Last night I was bouncing off the walls, trying not to irritate the people I was around, hyper for the first time in a very long time, and I realized that I was excited about today. Today is my first radiation treatment for the spot on my sacrum that’s pressing on my nerves and it’s the first possibility of eliminating or reducing the pain I’ve had for three weeks. I didn’t realize how much being restricted by the pain was wearing on me until I realized how excited I am about getting the treatment.

-Please pray that the treatment would effectively eliminate the pain, have as few side effects as possible, and that I would be wise and courageous in my encounters with people throughout the treatment process.

-More later when I get home from treatment.


  1. Praying for you always and sending you lots and lots of love!!!! xxoo

  2. Thank you for risking and being vulnerable as you share yourself through this blog. It's a humbling experience to witness your honest, witty, and open heart. Praying with you and for you, dear Martha. Love Susan T.