From Martha's parents:
We want to share with those who have followed Martha's story a recent posting by Jen Roop who, among other things, is a great biker and who has loved Martha and rides to raise money and awareness for cancer research. You will be blessed as you see how the pebble in the pond continues to ripple outward for God's glory!
Please see Jen's beautiful "Tribute to Martha" using the link on the right sidebar.
Blessings to all, Fred and Jean Depp
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Martha's Story of Cancer
The video placed here was assembled by Luke Morales, a member of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Martha's home church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The Depps are grateful to Luke for his fine efforts. This ten minute video is a merge of three video clips. One clip was taken during an extended interview Luke did with martha during October, 2010. A second clip was taken when Martha spoke to her church members on Easter Sunday, 2010 and a third clip was taken in February, 2011 in her home on a Sunday evening when her pastor, some family and some church members went through the memorial service she and her pastor, Hunter Dockery had planned together about a year earlier. It was a joyous and faith filled evening as you can sense from the video.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Betrothed in Dazzling White
Mary, mother of Jesus, was betrothed of Joseph, chosen to bear the Son of God Most High.
Martha, child of King Jesus has been betrothed to Him, the Christ, Savior and Son of God Most High since He came offering her new life many years ago. Made a member of His bride the church, she continues to worship Him with Mary and all those who live and move and have their being in the Risen One with the pierced hands and feet.
Martha, child of God, is now dazzling white and glorious, a maiden among many sons and daughters of the King eternal.
Martha has now entered into the bridegroom’s gates with praises wearing His wedding garment, the King’s gift to each of those who love Him and seek His holiness without and then within His blessed gates.
Cancer now consumed, all earthly doubt dispelled, all fears quenched in the Spirit’s loving ministry and singular transformation now seeing the bridegroom in His glory.
Who gives this woman to be wed to the King for all eternity? Her mother and I do with unspeakable joy and thanksgiving in our souls. We give her most gladly to Him who is called: Greater Love Hath No One Than This.
Martha, child of King Jesus has been betrothed to Him, the Christ, Savior and Son of God Most High since He came offering her new life many years ago. Made a member of His bride the church, she continues to worship Him with Mary and all those who live and move and have their being in the Risen One with the pierced hands and feet.
Martha, child of God, is now dazzling white and glorious, a maiden among many sons and daughters of the King eternal.
Martha has now entered into the bridegroom’s gates with praises wearing His wedding garment, the King’s gift to each of those who love Him and seek His holiness without and then within His blessed gates.
Cancer now consumed, all earthly doubt dispelled, all fears quenched in the Spirit’s loving ministry and singular transformation now seeing the bridegroom in His glory.
Who gives this woman to be wed to the King for all eternity? Her mother and I do with unspeakable joy and thanksgiving in our souls. We give her most gladly to Him who is called: Greater Love Hath No One Than This.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Martha's Joy-shared by Jae Campbell at the Memorial Service for Martha Depp
Don’t you see her?
Running through the meadows
The wind in her hair
Her smile bright and vibrant
Her glowing eyes
She reaches an area where children have gathered
They are laughing and playing
She joins in with excitement as they circle a tree
She is the tallest of all the little ones but her joy is just as full
Don’t you see her?
She sprints through a garden
Her arms stretched out from her side
Her hands floating through an endless bounty of flowers and leaves
Don’t you see her?
She closes her eyes and spins and spins
Finally falling back on the cool green grass
She looks up to see the father smiling down on her
His presence overwhelms her and she shouts out his-praises
Don’t you see her?
She enters a cave and notices the structure of the walls
Her hands glide along the carvings, paintings, and mixture of colors.
Her eyes take in the rich pure pallet of
purples, pinks, yellows, greens and blues
Don’t you see her?
She looks down at her hand and clasps them together
Her eyes fill with tears
Oh but she is not sad
She is thankful that he would share his artistic design with her
She is amazed that he chose her as the vessel
To give us a glimpse of the heavenlies
Don’t you see her?
And today, today she smiles down on us
She is thinking of us as we are remembering her
She is praying for us
Praying that the peace, joy, and comfort she
Is experiencing with the father now, we will taste and see one day
Don’t you see her?
Written By: Jae Campbell (Inspired by God)
Running through the meadows
The wind in her hair
Her smile bright and vibrant
Her glowing eyes
She reaches an area where children have gathered
They are laughing and playing
She joins in with excitement as they circle a tree
She is the tallest of all the little ones but her joy is just as full
Don’t you see her?
She sprints through a garden
Her arms stretched out from her side
Her hands floating through an endless bounty of flowers and leaves
Don’t you see her?
She closes her eyes and spins and spins
Finally falling back on the cool green grass
She looks up to see the father smiling down on her
His presence overwhelms her and she shouts out his-praises
Don’t you see her?
She enters a cave and notices the structure of the walls
Her hands glide along the carvings, paintings, and mixture of colors.
Her eyes take in the rich pure pallet of
purples, pinks, yellows, greens and blues
Don’t you see her?
She looks down at her hand and clasps them together
Her eyes fill with tears
Oh but she is not sad
She is thankful that he would share his artistic design with her
She is amazed that he chose her as the vessel
To give us a glimpse of the heavenlies
Don’t you see her?
And today, today she smiles down on us
She is thinking of us as we are remembering her
She is praying for us
Praying that the peace, joy, and comfort she
Is experiencing with the father now, we will taste and see one day
Don’t you see her?
Written By: Jae Campbell (Inspired by God)
Monday, April 4, 2011
A testimony at the memorial service 4-3-11 for Martha Depp by Joanne Depp-a sister-in-law
Martha’s story begins and ends with Jesus.
Without question, Martha had a special relationship with Jesus, and we have been blessed by all she shared with us.
But - Martha would want us to know and remember that she did not have a special access to God that isn’t available to the rest of us.
She knew and believed that she was a child of God, and that that Jesus’ loving hands were always reaching out to her - regardless of what her emotions or feelings were telling her about God’s reach towards her.
And do you know what Martha did -- She reached back. She prayed and studied God’s word and knew Him and loved Him in his entirety and His enormity of character.
She believed word for word that God is who the Bible says He is, and did not discount any parts that were uncomfortable, even by today’s standards.
Martha would be the first person to tell you that she wasn’t perfect; but she would also be the first one to tell you that her God was.
She would say that she needed Jesus in every step to her Journey to the Door because she could not get there on her own; not in her own human flesh and weakness.
And God’s promises carried her through that door.
She believed with her whole heart that God would not leave her or forsake her.
She knew that she would pass through waters and fires, but would remain unconsumed and unburned.
She knew that she was precious to Jesus, and that He loved her, and that He would preserve her for eternity.
She knew that God had a purpose for earthly suffering, and trusted that He would work all things together for good.
She knew that Jesus was her rescuer and deliverer. And that one day, He would restore her body and soul to perfection.
She knew He had prepared a place for her in Heaven, and that He was the only one who could keep her in perfect peace while she waited for Him to come.
And she knew that nothing - not even cancer or the process of dying or even death itself - could ever snatch her out of God’s loving hands.
And how did Martha know and believe all these things?
She prayed and read her Bible and focused on God’s promises to her - I should mention even long before her diagnosis of cancer. God had blessed Martha by giving her ears to hear and a heart to trust in his promises long before cancer was in her body.
Martha will always be remembered for her inspiring story and her courage in the face of terminal illness, dying, and death.
But please - please - in your memories of Martha and in your re-telling of Martha’s story - Please do not forget the One who gave Martha her courage and strength and peace.
Martha said in her own words - “Anything good coming out of my terminal cancer is because of the transforming work of Jesus - there would be no good in it otherwise, not for me. Remember where the good stuff originates.”
So on behalf of Martha, I’m asking you to remember that the “transforming work of Jesus” was and is her story.
Martha ran to him and clung to him and loved him so closely - that in the fullness of her story, it was hard to distinguish between Martha and Jesus--
between her words and his promises;
between her faith and his strength;
between her obedience and his love.
This is why throughout Martha’s story with cancer, people would make comments to me like --“When I’m with Martha, I know God is there.”
and “I can’t wait to see what Martha writes next - why hasn’t she posted anything recently?”
and “Wow, she is such an inspiration - I could never have such courage!”
And while these things may be true, did you ever stop to wonder why so many of us clung to Martha and the story she told us?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that regardless if we realized it or not, it’s because we want to be with the One Martha was clinging to.
We want to know and hear Jesus like Martha did; and understand his peace like she did; and experience his love like she did.
Martha’s God is pretty appealing - afterall, Martha’s God is THE God of the universe. And Martha would tell us that we all have ACCESS to him; that his promises are for all who believe in him.
And though we are grieving Martha right now, we do not need to grieve the closeness of God’s presence we experienced while she was with us. God is still very present; still reaching out; still offering His promises to those who want them.
Martha brought us to our own Door of sorts, and she would encourage us now to reach back. Even if it’s just by starting with a simple prayer and asking God to help you believe the promises Martha proclaimed.
Or even by picking up your Bible and seeing God’s promises for yourself; seeing that they weren’t only written for Martha, but also for you and for me.
I can only tell you these things with this kind of boldness because this is the part of her story Martha so desperately wanted people to remember. Martha’s story is not HER story if we pass it down without naming Jesus as her Savior and Deliverer and source of all good things.
So my recounting this part of Martha’s story to you is my way of telling Martha thank you - thank you, Martha for sharing our God’s promises so that we can know Him and love Him better. Thank you, Martha, for making God real and tangible to so many of us. Thank you, Martha, for showing us that any goodness we have is only from the gifting of God.
And it is also a gentle reminder to all of us of Martha’s very own words. As she said, “Remember where the good stuff originates.”
Without question, Martha had a special relationship with Jesus, and we have been blessed by all she shared with us.
But - Martha would want us to know and remember that she did not have a special access to God that isn’t available to the rest of us.
She knew and believed that she was a child of God, and that that Jesus’ loving hands were always reaching out to her - regardless of what her emotions or feelings were telling her about God’s reach towards her.
And do you know what Martha did -- She reached back. She prayed and studied God’s word and knew Him and loved Him in his entirety and His enormity of character.
She believed word for word that God is who the Bible says He is, and did not discount any parts that were uncomfortable, even by today’s standards.
Martha would be the first person to tell you that she wasn’t perfect; but she would also be the first one to tell you that her God was.
She would say that she needed Jesus in every step to her Journey to the Door because she could not get there on her own; not in her own human flesh and weakness.
And God’s promises carried her through that door.
She believed with her whole heart that God would not leave her or forsake her.
She knew that she would pass through waters and fires, but would remain unconsumed and unburned.
She knew that she was precious to Jesus, and that He loved her, and that He would preserve her for eternity.
She knew that God had a purpose for earthly suffering, and trusted that He would work all things together for good.
She knew that Jesus was her rescuer and deliverer. And that one day, He would restore her body and soul to perfection.
She knew He had prepared a place for her in Heaven, and that He was the only one who could keep her in perfect peace while she waited for Him to come.
And she knew that nothing - not even cancer or the process of dying or even death itself - could ever snatch her out of God’s loving hands.
And how did Martha know and believe all these things?
She prayed and read her Bible and focused on God’s promises to her - I should mention even long before her diagnosis of cancer. God had blessed Martha by giving her ears to hear and a heart to trust in his promises long before cancer was in her body.
Martha will always be remembered for her inspiring story and her courage in the face of terminal illness, dying, and death.
But please - please - in your memories of Martha and in your re-telling of Martha’s story - Please do not forget the One who gave Martha her courage and strength and peace.
Martha said in her own words - “Anything good coming out of my terminal cancer is because of the transforming work of Jesus - there would be no good in it otherwise, not for me. Remember where the good stuff originates.”
So on behalf of Martha, I’m asking you to remember that the “transforming work of Jesus” was and is her story.
Martha ran to him and clung to him and loved him so closely - that in the fullness of her story, it was hard to distinguish between Martha and Jesus--
between her words and his promises;
between her faith and his strength;
between her obedience and his love.
This is why throughout Martha’s story with cancer, people would make comments to me like --“When I’m with Martha, I know God is there.”
and “I can’t wait to see what Martha writes next - why hasn’t she posted anything recently?”
and “Wow, she is such an inspiration - I could never have such courage!”
And while these things may be true, did you ever stop to wonder why so many of us clung to Martha and the story she told us?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that regardless if we realized it or not, it’s because we want to be with the One Martha was clinging to.
We want to know and hear Jesus like Martha did; and understand his peace like she did; and experience his love like she did.
Martha’s God is pretty appealing - afterall, Martha’s God is THE God of the universe. And Martha would tell us that we all have ACCESS to him; that his promises are for all who believe in him.
And though we are grieving Martha right now, we do not need to grieve the closeness of God’s presence we experienced while she was with us. God is still very present; still reaching out; still offering His promises to those who want them.
Martha brought us to our own Door of sorts, and she would encourage us now to reach back. Even if it’s just by starting with a simple prayer and asking God to help you believe the promises Martha proclaimed.
Or even by picking up your Bible and seeing God’s promises for yourself; seeing that they weren’t only written for Martha, but also for you and for me.
I can only tell you these things with this kind of boldness because this is the part of her story Martha so desperately wanted people to remember. Martha’s story is not HER story if we pass it down without naming Jesus as her Savior and Deliverer and source of all good things.
So my recounting this part of Martha’s story to you is my way of telling Martha thank you - thank you, Martha for sharing our God’s promises so that we can know Him and love Him better. Thank you, Martha, for making God real and tangible to so many of us. Thank you, Martha, for showing us that any goodness we have is only from the gifting of God.
And it is also a gentle reminder to all of us of Martha’s very own words. As she said, “Remember where the good stuff originates.”
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Her last gentle breath
Martha took her last gentle breath on earth and her first joyous breath in Heaven today, March 24, when her Lord Jesus came to take her to the place He has prepared for her, His perfect healing and eternal LIFE in His presence. Rejoice with us in this victory!
Thank you so very much for your prayers for Martha and her family during this journey in which our Lord has so clearly shown His awesome grace and faithfulness through her testimony.
Still Waiting...
Our deepest gratitude to all of you who continue to bear our burden with us, experience our pain, and uphold us with your prayers for this seemingly long journey with Martha as she anticipates the joy of being with Jesus.
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us (Martha!) an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” 2 Cor. 4:17.
Martha has seemed very close to Heaven for several weeks now and the medical people continue to be amazed that she is still with us. These recent days have been more difficult as her body systems are shutting down and her brain chemistry is changing with the build up of toxins. She is sedated and resting peacefully.
We are impressed with how often our Lord brings some kind of relief: an angel of mercy hospice nurse coming to the house at night, after one nearly sleepless night here when one of her brothers appeared to sit by Martha’s side and calm her until a new medication arrived and more surprise bouquets of flowers on our doorstep. Certainly not least, we continue to be impressed with the extent of God’s mercy and grace to us as the stretching definitely continues!
All of her vital signs have been diminishing daily. Yesterday morning the hospice nurse could not hear her blood pressure with the cuff, or get an oxygen reading in her finger, and heard only slight air movement in her lungs. She has had no fluid input or output for almost a week and her breathing has been very irregular for days. She looks so very peaceful that I regret having to disturb her every three hours with medication that tastes terrible and is uncomfortable to receive.
So, dear intercessors, thank you again for persevering with us in this journey and may our Lord bless each of you abundantly!
In His love, Martha’s parents
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Loving wounds-Reflections by Martha's Dad
Proverbs, Chapter 27, Verse 6 tells us: ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful’.
An enemy’s kisses are a clear contradiction; enemies seek not our good with kisses. Think Judas Iscariot. But why would friends wound? One song of worship reminds we have a friend in Jesus, the Son of God. Yet scripture assures ‘He was wounded for our transgressions' by His Father, ‘smitten by God’ as Isaiah 53, verse 4 tells us, because of the Father’s love for us and for Him also.
Jesus satisfied our need; perfectly covering our sins and showing His fallen creation the infinite mercy of God. Both expressed together in the Father’s sacrifice of His Son on the cross and the Son’s acceptance of wounding by the One who loved Him from before the foundation of the world.
The Father wounding His own Son for the love us; the Son accepting wounding for the love of us as well. The Father faithful to fulfill His plan to release us from our sin must wound the Son for the love of us. The Son faithfully serving as our substitute, our Lamb, wounded for His love of us as well.
Loving wounds continue among the creatures of God bringing merciful cleansing that draw us to Him. Thomas experienced this when he beheld the wounded hands and feet of Jesus and put his hand in His side confessing belief with conviction where doubt had been, ‘My Lord and my God’; John 20, verse 28.
The Sovereign One, the All Faithful One, wounds His own thus evidencing ownership, great purpose and mysterious lovingkindness. Jacob’s chronic limp was not accidental but deeply intentional in remembrance as were the woundings of Job and Stephen.
God has assured Martha her terminal cancer is a continuation of her pilgrim journey with her Lord Jesus, not an unplanned interlude or an unfortunate shortening of her earthly life. Neither has it been so for the connected hundreds brought near and mentored by the Holy Spirit in the matters of The Creator of all and life eternal. Each one lovingly wounded directly or vicariously, each one experiencing His faithfulness, each one hearing and seeing more clearly new outlines of the Infinite, now drawn closer where blindness and deafness had formerly prevented.
Continuing to wait...
Psalm 27, which Martha calls “my cancer psalm” concludes with:
“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Wait for the Lord!”
And she continues to wait, courageously, graciously, gratefully, and usually with remarkable patience toward the challenges of the cancer and her very great weakness now. In the beginning she prayed to “be able to do this cancer thing well” and she is doing it so very well for His glory.
And all of us continue to be profoundly thankful for abounding grace and peace to our Lord Jesus and to each of you who continues to pray so faithfully for us and to send such loving messages, emails and other encouragements, like the very cheerful bouquet of flowers we discovered on the front porch Monday morning and a beautiful gerbera daisy another dayJ. We pray God’s many blessings on each of you!
In His immense love, her parents.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Waiting...
We continue to find it a great privilege to be caring for Martha here, in the anguish of watching her body become increasingly frail and weak, in the joy of knowing that she will soon be with her Lord, and in the experiencing of grace and peace to all three of us which truly passes all understanding.
We are very grateful that she has been able to remain in her own home here and we are also immensely grateful for your prayers and many expressions of love and comfort. Please continue to pray that our Lord will bring her very soon into His healing presence and for grace and peace while she waits.
In His grip, her parents
We are very grateful that she has been able to remain in her own home here and we are also immensely grateful for your prayers and many expressions of love and comfort. Please continue to pray that our Lord will bring her very soon into His healing presence and for grace and peace while she waits.
In His grip, her parents
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tears from Two Rivers-Reflections by Martha's Dad
Standing behind Him weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, Luke 7, verse 38. Whenever the Lord draws close, we respond with awe and wonder falling down as did John on the Isle of Patmos. More often than not we respond also with weeping as did the woman forgiven when the Spirit comes and Jesus is present. We sense anew that our Rescuer and Defender is near. Tears of gratitude flow as a great river of joy and thanksgiving.
So it is for us when our love for Martha consciously mingles with the sight of her disabling symptoms of cancer, both within the Holy Spirit’s palpable embrace and reassurances. Sweet destructions within the Sovereign’s intentions for Paradise soon to be realized for another of His own.
All His breakers and waves wash over, Psalm 42, verse 7, Martha and each of us holding her hands…some of us physically present, others a thousand miles distant. All caught in the love enabled purposes of God as His waves wash over.
A second great river of tears has its source in watching the destruction of Martha’s body: more feeble mobility, progressive weightlessness and energy loss and words and expressions that grow scarce, barely connecting us together. A grain of wheat dying into the ground wrapped and safe in the Jesus promise of new life and greater fruit bearing, John 12, verse 24.
This river also remembers a little blonde girl with a big smile and enough spunk to climb toy shelves six feet from the floor wiping them clean of all they possessed. Not to be forgotten however are the scores of lives drawn into the Savior’s loving embrace by her recently exercised gifts of bold love, transparency and words of courage ‘It is what it is’, as she trusts the One who was the first grain of wheat to go into the ground and die that others might truly live.
Two rivers, one of gratitude and thanksgiving born under grace given by our only Rescuer and Defender; one river born of the earth and our humanity, made up of grief, mourning and transient loss. Rivers that mingle and join, flow into one and take us to the very gates of the City of God
Friday, February 25, 2011
Coming Softly-Reflections by Martha's Dad-Friday, February 25, 2011
Almost imperceptibly, silently and singing songs of praise they come softly among us bringing their message of His holiness and comforting assurance. How many are you? Do you carry, or are you creating, a faintly heard sound of familiar hymnody?
Resting in the promises of the One who is all in all; resting and listening for His next orchestrations, we wait.
Love you and love you too exchanged with whispers and tender cheek brushings; these the bold sounds and highest expressions in the surrounding silences we inhabit and rest in as we attend always to the gentle words of Jesus.
Gathered in retreat mode to pray, we listen and read His eternal Words aloud, enriched by His imperative to be still and know that He is God, the Awesome One among us by His spirit, ever attentive to our needs spoken and unspoken as we journey together with Martha from this world to the door of the next.
We drop our busy hands, still our doubting hearts and listen for His words of true and perfect healing for the diminishing one we keep vigil with. Martha’s thin spoken ‘Moms’ in the darkness of the night, monitor whispers of her love needs, soon satisfied by the alert one who gave her birth, alert even then to her first whispers and now the more. Behind her ministrations of love and service stands Jesus whose grace strengthens and encourages.
Coming softly, coming faithfully, the heavenly host will soon carry Martha home. Expectantly, all eyes are turned heavenward from whence cometh our help, from the same Lord and Father of all the saints who promises that ‘blessed are they who do His commandments, that their authority will be over the Tree of Life, and they may enter in by the gates into the city’ Rev 22, verse 14. Maranatha.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Updates: Etsy and Me
Okay, I don’t feel right about posting updates about my Etsy shop on here, so my siblings developed a public Facebook page for me that will be a good way to keep in touch with what is going on with the shop and when new artwork is posted.
My siblings have been hard at work and they have been posting new artwork on a regular basis.
Ways to access the Etsy shop:
---You can click on the orange Etsy button on the right side of this page, while you’re on the Etsy page you could add it to your favorites list so you don’t “lose it.”
--- If you are on Facebook already, you can go HERE, sign in, and then “like” my page. After you like my page, it will show you in your news feed when new art is added to the Etsy shop.
For His children and for those who are ministering to them.
Martha
P.S. I am getting very, very weak and I think Jesus is coming for me very, very, soon. Thank you for all of your love and prayers and support for me and my family and friends.
My siblings have been hard at work and they have been posting new artwork on a regular basis.
Ways to access the Etsy shop:
---You can click on the orange Etsy button on the right side of this page, while you’re on the Etsy page you could add it to your favorites list so you don’t “lose it.”
--- If you are on Facebook already, you can go HERE, sign in, and then “like” my page. After you like my page, it will show you in your news feed when new art is added to the Etsy shop.
For His children and for those who are ministering to them.
Martha
P.S. I am getting very, very weak and I think Jesus is coming for me very, very, soon. Thank you for all of your love and prayers and support for me and my family and friends.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Praise God for your Prayers and encouragement! EDITED
Here are two updates, one from my parents, and a short one from me.
Parents:
Thank God for your continued prayer support and many expressions of love and encouragement!
This past Sunday was glorious. Martha’s pastor gathered a small group from her church to come to her home.
It was a very special time to sing the music which Martha chose in (Jan. 2010) for her memorial service, hear encouragement from Hebrews, and administer the membership vows to her for joining the local church (she had never been able to complete the membership class due to scheduling and illness conflicts), and to take Communion.
How lovely it was to hear this precious bride of Christ say “I do,” again, and again, in response to her vows of commitment to Jesus and to His body in this local church! And what a joy to be reminded that she belongs to Him and not to us (much as we love her)!
Martha has been significantly weaker and sleepier each day, and communication is taking more effort. Please continue to pray for her relief from various discomforts and soon perfect healing in His presence.
On Sunday, in the early morning hours, probably around 4:30-5 am, Martha called us because she was extremely cold and could not stop shaking, so we wrapped her in more blankets, held her and prayed and read Psalms for probably an hour before she was warm enough to sleep again…she has had many challenges with her internal thermostat before but never for so long. Several hours later she was too warm.
Sunday night’s testimony makes it ever clearer that Jesus is using Martha for His kingdom purposes and, though she is in the midst of this ‘story’ right now, it is ultimately not about her, us or her church but all about our all-sufficient and only God, our Savior, “who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory, blameless with great joy.” (Jude 24-5).
Rejoicing in His grip and Love! Martha’s Parents
From Martha:
My wonderful nurse said today that she would not be surprised if she got "the call" from my family any time now because of physical symptoms that she can see clearly by looking at me, and because of these crazy symptoms I’ve been having. I'm ready.
I had a startlingly difficult experience last night that indicates tremendous progress of the cancer.
Meanwhile my caretakers with Hospice and my parents continue to be just incredible.
Meanwhile God, even in times like last night’s difficulty, is keeping me in His peace and protecting me with His grace.
In His grip, Martha
Parents:
Thank God for your continued prayer support and many expressions of love and encouragement!
This past Sunday was glorious. Martha’s pastor gathered a small group from her church to come to her home.
It was a very special time to sing the music which Martha chose in (Jan. 2010) for her memorial service, hear encouragement from Hebrews, and administer the membership vows to her for joining the local church (she had never been able to complete the membership class due to scheduling and illness conflicts), and to take Communion.
How lovely it was to hear this precious bride of Christ say “I do,” again, and again, in response to her vows of commitment to Jesus and to His body in this local church! And what a joy to be reminded that she belongs to Him and not to us (much as we love her)!
Martha has been significantly weaker and sleepier each day, and communication is taking more effort. Please continue to pray for her relief from various discomforts and soon perfect healing in His presence.
On Sunday, in the early morning hours, probably around 4:30-5 am, Martha called us because she was extremely cold and could not stop shaking, so we wrapped her in more blankets, held her and prayed and read Psalms for probably an hour before she was warm enough to sleep again…she has had many challenges with her internal thermostat before but never for so long. Several hours later she was too warm.
Sunday night’s testimony makes it ever clearer that Jesus is using Martha for His kingdom purposes and, though she is in the midst of this ‘story’ right now, it is ultimately not about her, us or her church but all about our all-sufficient and only God, our Savior, “who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory, blameless with great joy.” (Jude 24-5).
Rejoicing in His grip and Love! Martha’s Parents
From Martha:
My wonderful nurse said today that she would not be surprised if she got "the call" from my family any time now because of physical symptoms that she can see clearly by looking at me, and because of these crazy symptoms I’ve been having. I'm ready.
I had a startlingly difficult experience last night that indicates tremendous progress of the cancer.
Meanwhile my caretakers with Hospice and my parents continue to be just incredible.
Meanwhile God, even in times like last night’s difficulty, is keeping me in His peace and protecting me with His grace.
In His grip, Martha
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Nearing LIFE
Well, my body appears to be well into the last stages of “life” and it’s definitely preparing to Transition to Life sometime soon.
If you read the Hospice info (http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for.html) on end stages of physical shut down, you know that sleeping a whole lot more is one of the stages, as is not having energy to talk much or to participate in conversations, as is saying goodbye to people--for the last time before we meet again in Heaven, as is decreased food and water intake....
I am easing peacefully into lying in bed drifting in out of being awake and asleep for most of each day. This is a new change as of the last couple days. I like it.
If you asked me what I did all day, I’d say hang out with my parents who are helping me tremendously, take medicine, sleep, and lie in bed. I either lie in my own bed or in a nice hospital bed that moves up and down by a handheld controller.
I only really get up to use the restroom or to move locations... Since I wretched so hard that something low down in my spine popped, walking has been very painful and difficult, as has changing clothes and a lot of other things. But I'll be done soon and I'll be able to walk perfectly in what will have seemed like the blink of an eye.
It is hard to find energy to write a blog post. I don’t know how many more I will be able to write, as much as I would like to continue to demystify this process by documenting it for other people.
There is a very clear sense of God’s peace in my home, with my parents, and with me. It is a precious treasure and we are very thankful for it.
God is keeping me in His grace during this waiting time... But I am still very curious, and have a strong feeling of excitement and anticipation, about what my Transition, Heaven, and Jesus will be like.
In His Grip, Martha
If you read the Hospice info (http://www.hospicenet.org/html/preparing_for.html) on end stages of physical shut down, you know that sleeping a whole lot more is one of the stages, as is not having energy to talk much or to participate in conversations, as is saying goodbye to people--for the last time before we meet again in Heaven, as is decreased food and water intake....
I am easing peacefully into lying in bed drifting in out of being awake and asleep for most of each day. This is a new change as of the last couple days. I like it.
If you asked me what I did all day, I’d say hang out with my parents who are helping me tremendously, take medicine, sleep, and lie in bed. I either lie in my own bed or in a nice hospital bed that moves up and down by a handheld controller.
I only really get up to use the restroom or to move locations... Since I wretched so hard that something low down in my spine popped, walking has been very painful and difficult, as has changing clothes and a lot of other things. But I'll be done soon and I'll be able to walk perfectly in what will have seemed like the blink of an eye.
It is hard to find energy to write a blog post. I don’t know how many more I will be able to write, as much as I would like to continue to demystify this process by documenting it for other people.
There is a very clear sense of God’s peace in my home, with my parents, and with me. It is a precious treasure and we are very thankful for it.
God is keeping me in His grace during this waiting time... But I am still very curious, and have a strong feeling of excitement and anticipation, about what my Transition, Heaven, and Jesus will be like.
In His Grip, Martha
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Etsy Store Opening and Update : )
I have something I am very excited about to share. Several people in my life have been encouraging me to market my artwork for years... but I’m not the marketing type. My brother Ben masterminded the idea of starting an Etsy store to sell fine art prints of my paintings and some of my drawings. He has done an amazing job photographing my artwork with his super high quality professional camera. Another sibling will administrate the store for me and all of the proceeds will go to Arts For Life, and Doctors Without Borders.
Ben just opened the shop today, and more artwork will be added soon, please check back for more artwork over the next few weeks.
It feels really good to have artwork for sale that will help these organizations in their work to relieve suffering and bring hope to so many people.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MarthaDepp?ref=pr_shop_more
As for me, my time feels shorter and shorter and I am living with greater and greater excitement about finding out what Heaven will be like. I wonder what Jesus will look like when I see Him? I wonder many, many things, all kinds of things, with a heart filled with hope and peace, thanks to His overwhelming grace.
In His Grip, For His Glory, Martha
Ben just opened the shop today, and more artwork will be added soon, please check back for more artwork over the next few weeks.
It feels really good to have artwork for sale that will help these organizations in their work to relieve suffering and bring hope to so many people.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MarthaDepp?ref=pr_shop_more
In His Grip, For His Glory, Martha
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Mercy???
For the last few weeks I have been struggling deeply with the Mercy Promise that God made me.
It hasn’t been feeling like He’s being merciful. It felt to me like He wasn’t keeping His promise. His promise wasn't making any sense.
For nearly two years I have been trying to guess what the fulfillment of this promise would look like in my life, and at times I thought I knew, but I was wrong.
This morning, I was talking with my wise (and wonderful) hospice nurse and God used our conversation to show me what the fulfillment of His mercy promise will look for me. (And if I’m wrong, He will forgive me for thinking I know, but this time I’m sure that this is something He has shown me).
This morning my nurse and I had our usual reporting/reflecting/question session. Toward the end of our conversation, I said that based on how dramatically my body has changed just in the last week, and how fast my body is deteriorating, I can’t imagine that it will be more than a few more weeks, or a month at most, before I go Home.
She responded by agreeing that things are happening rapidly and said she didn’t know how long my body will tolerate it’s current condition, she said she didn’t know if my body will try to tolerate it because I’m so ready and because I’m so at peace with “dying.”
As I was reflecting on her comment, which I found very encouraging, I felt like I finally understood what the Mercy Promise means.
It means that because of the work God has done in my spirit, mind, and body over the last two years, my parts are all unified. So as I continue to deteriorate physically, my mind and spirit won’t fight my body and cause all of the physical chaos that people with terminal illnesses so often experience.
Instead, as my body deteriorates, it will be free to do it in a gentle and peaceful way, with permission from and my mind and spirit.
I picture myself moving with ease and grace from life to Life. I don’t see a huge “fight,” or a horrendous “struggle,” I don’t see any massive issues to be afraid of, and I am not afraid—I’m not afraid to wait for the right time and I’m not afraid to Transition.
And yes, I am suffering. Yes, I am in pain. Yes, last night I wretched so hard it made my something in my lower spine/right hip (the one that already hurts a lot) crack or pop so loudly I both heard it and felt it, and the pain was so excruciating that I had to get help lifting my legs onto my bed.
Yes, my physical situation is grim, but it is not nearly as grim as many of those with terminal cancer. Yes, it could be infinitely worse.
It is such a huge gift to understand this.
It is, in itself, such a miracle to be given such a clear idea of what His promise to me means.
And, as always, thank you so very much for all of your thoughtful and encouraging comments, and for your prayer for me and my family. We are very thankful.
In His Grip, Martha
It hasn’t been feeling like He’s being merciful. It felt to me like He wasn’t keeping His promise. His promise wasn't making any sense.
For nearly two years I have been trying to guess what the fulfillment of this promise would look like in my life, and at times I thought I knew, but I was wrong.
This morning, I was talking with my wise (and wonderful) hospice nurse and God used our conversation to show me what the fulfillment of His mercy promise will look for me. (And if I’m wrong, He will forgive me for thinking I know, but this time I’m sure that this is something He has shown me).
This morning my nurse and I had our usual reporting/reflecting/question session. Toward the end of our conversation, I said that based on how dramatically my body has changed just in the last week, and how fast my body is deteriorating, I can’t imagine that it will be more than a few more weeks, or a month at most, before I go Home.
She responded by agreeing that things are happening rapidly and said she didn’t know how long my body will tolerate it’s current condition, she said she didn’t know if my body will try to tolerate it because I’m so ready and because I’m so at peace with “dying.”
As I was reflecting on her comment, which I found very encouraging, I felt like I finally understood what the Mercy Promise means.
It means that because of the work God has done in my spirit, mind, and body over the last two years, my parts are all unified. So as I continue to deteriorate physically, my mind and spirit won’t fight my body and cause all of the physical chaos that people with terminal illnesses so often experience.
Instead, as my body deteriorates, it will be free to do it in a gentle and peaceful way, with permission from and my mind and spirit.
I picture myself moving with ease and grace from life to Life. I don’t see a huge “fight,” or a horrendous “struggle,” I don’t see any massive issues to be afraid of, and I am not afraid—I’m not afraid to wait for the right time and I’m not afraid to Transition.
And yes, I am suffering. Yes, I am in pain. Yes, last night I wretched so hard it made my something in my lower spine/right hip (the one that already hurts a lot) crack or pop so loudly I both heard it and felt it, and the pain was so excruciating that I had to get help lifting my legs onto my bed.
Yes, my physical situation is grim, but it is not nearly as grim as many of those with terminal cancer. Yes, it could be infinitely worse.
It is such a huge gift to understand this.
It is, in itself, such a miracle to be given such a clear idea of what His promise to me means.
And, as always, thank you so very much for all of your thoughtful and encouraging comments, and for your prayer for me and my family. We are very thankful.
In His Grip, Martha
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Another Update
I guess it’s update time again.
There isn’t a ton to say. My body continues to deteriorate, I continue longing to go Home, my energy continues to decrease, I continue to struggle with which medications to take when, I continue to pray for a clot—a quick and easy way out....
There is one thing that I crave more than almost anything else; to gulp down a giant glass of ice cold water. I’m thirsty all the time but can’t drink more than sips of water. If I drink more than two medium size gulps at a time, it makes me nearly vomit.
Crushed ice tastes better than any ice cream ever did, and it is cold, and it slows down my intake, so I’ve been able to enjoy ice chips.
I’ve been sleeping terribly every night, partly because of lower back pain, I have almost no energy during the day, it takes effort to talk in the late afternoon/evening, and the nausea gets a lot worse throughout the day—even with anti-nausea meds.
I’ve lost interest in a lot of things, little things like checking http://www.craftgawker.com/ each day, as I have for months. Small tasks often seem overwhelming and it’s often hard to find energy for them.
Really, I just want to be done. This cancer thing has gotten a lot harder in the last week, and I desperately want to be done.
In a sense I suppose it’s like being in the last few weeks of a pregnancy (speaking on the basis of observation only), only I’m waiting to be delivered into Life, Joy, His presence, and Perfect Healing.
Please pray for me. It is excruciating to wait. I often find myself opening my eyes hoping to see Jesus coming for me.
Please pray for my dear family who I’m visiting and who are bringing me ice chips and Ensure, reading to me, and being very loving.
Please pray for mercy.
Thank you very much, Martha
There isn’t a ton to say. My body continues to deteriorate, I continue longing to go Home, my energy continues to decrease, I continue to struggle with which medications to take when, I continue to pray for a clot—a quick and easy way out....
There is one thing that I crave more than almost anything else; to gulp down a giant glass of ice cold water. I’m thirsty all the time but can’t drink more than sips of water. If I drink more than two medium size gulps at a time, it makes me nearly vomit.
Crushed ice tastes better than any ice cream ever did, and it is cold, and it slows down my intake, so I’ve been able to enjoy ice chips.
I’ve been sleeping terribly every night, partly because of lower back pain, I have almost no energy during the day, it takes effort to talk in the late afternoon/evening, and the nausea gets a lot worse throughout the day—even with anti-nausea meds.
I’ve lost interest in a lot of things, little things like checking http://www.craftgawker.com/ each day, as I have for months. Small tasks often seem overwhelming and it’s often hard to find energy for them.
Really, I just want to be done. This cancer thing has gotten a lot harder in the last week, and I desperately want to be done.
In a sense I suppose it’s like being in the last few weeks of a pregnancy (speaking on the basis of observation only), only I’m waiting to be delivered into Life, Joy, His presence, and Perfect Healing.
Please pray for me. It is excruciating to wait. I often find myself opening my eyes hoping to see Jesus coming for me.
Please pray for my dear family who I’m visiting and who are bringing me ice chips and Ensure, reading to me, and being very loving.
Please pray for mercy.
Thank you very much, Martha
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Update
Well, I had a meeting with my wonderful nurse yesterday morning.
The bottom line is that:
-I’ve lost three more pounds since last Friday.
-I’ve lost three more pounds since last Friday.
-I find my heart beating fast after minimal exertion; this is probably because my body is breaking down, including my muscles, my body is already using its reserve resources, and my heart is trying to compensate.
-I have something vascular and very painful going on in my left arm. Whatever it is makes me unable to straighten my arm all the way, is causing veins to hurt, and seems like it could be The Clot. The Clot= the one that could take me home. I’m hopeful about this one because not only is it bigger and more extensive than the others I’ve had, but it’s also in my left arm, which is closer to my heart than any of the others I’ve had.
-With the potential bowel obstruction that is building and the potential clot, please pray that the clot will win; it would be so much easier.
Meanwhile:
-I’m hanging out with my family right now.
-I am very tired and very weak.
-I have learned how to make yarn out of t-shirts, something I’d never heard of before seeing it on HERE and finding THIS tutorial. Note: The first link is a site that puts up new crafts every day, so the t-shirt yarn thing may be several days back... The resulting yarn is very soft and seems like it should be very nice to crochet with... Making t-shirt yarn is very easy and fun, and a great way to recycle t-shirts.
-I am glad to be in the actively deteriorating physically stage rather than the facing months and months of ambiguity stage.
-Please keep praying for grace and wisdom and comfort.
In His Grip, Martha
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